


Faith in Futility

by AnnaofAza



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Pining Eggsy, Post-Movie, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 23:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5310773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaofAza/pseuds/AnnaofAza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percival watches Eggsy mourn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faith in Futility

**Author's Note:**

> Reposted from[ here.](http://annaofaza.tumblr.com/post/131355848008/percival-watches-eggsy-mourn-he-watches-the)

Percival watches Eggsy mourn.

He watches the boy come to work and smile as if his whole world depended on believing he was perfectly all right. He watches Roxy grow increasingly worried when Eggsy rebuffs invitations to go out to the bar, to the theater, to the dog park. He watches Merlin check and re-check Eggsy’s file, type in notes to the Kingsman doctors, and with every “is he seeing you?,” there’s a “no.”

Roxy tells Percival that Eggsy lives in Harry’s house like a guest and that he looks at the dog in the loo as if it’s some sort of terrible reminder. When Percival sits with Merlin to check up on Eggsy and Roxy’s paired reconnaissance mission, he sees Eggsy’s lips move in his sleep from Roxy’s glasses on the nightstand, forming mantras of _don’t go, don’t leave me, please._

Eggsy walks around like a ghost of Harry Hart, hair combed exactly so and suit always pin-perfect. He wears his glasses at nearly all times, speaks like he hadn’t stirred a step in East London, and fiddles with the medal around his neck. Eggsy never takes it off. If he must go undercover, he wears it underneath his shirt, over his heart.

The boy reads about time-travel, different worlds theory, brain injuries, survival stories. He searches the extensive Kingsman library, talks to every scientist he meets, and goes to Kentucky whenever assigned a mission in America.

Percival knows every detail of the official search for Harry Hart. Not a trace—no body—as if Harry had never existed.

"No body," he once heard Eggsy mutter to Roxy when the news was first announced. "I won’t believe it until I see one."

But days pass and months go by and suddenly, it’s a year—but Eggsy’s still waiting. He sees Eggsy looking longingly at each door, waiting for Harry Hart to walk through it.

Percival occasionally finds himself entertaining these thoughts. What if his friend is alive? Would he remember Kingsman? Is in he in the UK, America, or someplace else entirely?

But the search is fruitless, and the numbers looking for some sort of evidence dwindle as Kingsman reorients itself. Eggsy begs off for more time, but in the end, Percival closes the mission and pulls out the Napoleonic brandy for a late toast. Everyone takes a glass, except for Eggsy, who stares at the contents without seeing, as if he’s hoping to wake up.

Percival makes a small speech, then asks if anyone wants to say a few things about Harry. It’s not traditional, but Percival hopes that Eggsy says something, moves some of the weight off his chest.

Eggsy doesn’t. He’s keeping everything he knows about Harry locked inside, Percival realizes, as if every memory will disappear if spoken aloud. It’s what he did when he lost James. Even now, he says little about the man he loved, not because he’s in denial, but because there were few people who knew James could be quiet rather than loud, that he made perfect spinach soufflés, that he used to hold Percival’s hand under the table during lengthy Kingsman meetings. And Percival had always been a private man.

They toast, and the thumps of glasses hitting the table all at once sound like finality. Percival watches Eggsy twist his lips, ask for permission to leave, and walk out the door like he’s going to an execution.

He wants to say something to the boy, something like _he loved you._

But Percival has never been a liar.


End file.
